OK, so you’ve just heard on the news that people are starting to turn into zombies. No one knows how or why, but one by one, the population are turning into brain-thirsty living dead. What are you going to do to survive this awful apocalypse? Well, fret no more, because you can survive with the help of this roundup of essential Android apps to help you live in a society overrun by flesh-eating zombies.
This list attempts to cover as much as possible: from finding out the latest news about what’s going on, to first aid, food, equipment, geography, organisation, security and even preparation for such a day. It’s not going to be easy, but survival is essential until the government scientists work out some kind of cure. You can do this, I have every confidence in you. Just pay attention. One small piece of advice before we start… always go for the brain stem.
The world is in social, political and economic meltdown, utter bedlam – and you really need to know what’s going on. All news networks will probably go offline quite quickly as news readers, camera operators, editors, directors and other staff drop everything to go and protect their families. Therefore the most up-to-date and accurate resource for news will of course be Twitter.
By using the official Twitter app, you can see which of your followers are still human, find out the best safe-havens and discover where the outbreaks are worst. A good start would be to search “#zombie” or “#zombieapocalypse”. Twitter will also be as great a resource for videos, advice, ideas and up-to-the-minute news updates.
One of the essential things you need to pin down straight away will be getting organised. Do it (Tomorrow) is a brilliant to-do list application. It looks fresh and smart and has a cool function where if you have to put something off, you can just pass it onto tomorrow’s to-do list. This is great because, if your best plans get interrupted by a hoard of hungry zombie-kind finding your secret hide-out, you can transfer tasks to tomorrow’s list without losing track.
You can list the things you might need – water, food, clothes, lighter fluid, a pickaxe – and cross them out in-app as you pack them. There will be lots of things to remember, lots of tasks to complete if you are going to survive, and Do It (Tomorrow) gives you a simple yet functional task list to manage. The application also has a superb-looking web interface which syncs with the app, so you can manage your tasks from a computer or laptop should you need to.
Glympse is an absolutely essential app for keeping your family safe. It lets you send a ‘Glympse’ which shows your location for up to four hours. Fellow family, team, or vigilante mob members can track where you are for that duration from their phones or by the web. If then you get lost, or stuck somewhere, they can bring help and/or weapons. If a zombie apocalypse ever came, Glympse would be an absolute must.
Right now it’s superb for giving peace of mind if a family member is out and about, perhaps at night or in an unfamiliar location. You can remotely monitor them (or they can monitor you) and make sure they are safe. It’s such a simple app to use too, easier than sending a text message. The UI is superb and even comes with a handy widget.
This is going to be a must isn’t it? Because Google Maps comes with the additional ‘Places’ and ‘Navigation’ features, not only can it give you a list of places – especially the more secure locations such as churches, hospitals, army barracks and pubs – it can tell you how to get there depending on your form of transport. Perfect for navigating your way out of a zombie infested housing estate and to somewhere safer. Regularly updated and feature-rich, this is just the kind of app you need installed.
You’re going to need equipment. While buying online probably isn’t an option (I figure e-commerce is going to become a difficult service to maintain for retail outlets) Google Shopper can tell you where the nearest stores are.
So, say you wanted a cycle helmet (first line of brain-defence), you could search easily for one in Google Shopper, find where it is located and (ahem) ‘acquire’ it.
Ever tried typing into your smartphone while running really fast? For the purpose of this article I just tried and let me tell you, it’s not easy. Vlingo is a ‘Virtual assistant’ that responds to a variety of voice commands. For example, to send a text message simply say “Text Claire Run Zombies are coming” and Vlingo will send a text message to that person on your behalf. It is surprisingly accurate, even if you are out of breath.
You can also search Google, send an email, update social networks, get directions and hear incoming messages through this very smart application. An essential tool then if you’re unable to type – perhaps due to running away, or because your hands are covered in a close friend’s blood and you don’t want to smudge your touch screen.
When (sorry, ‘if’) this day comes, my first concern would be the welfare of my family and friends. But what if they are already zombies? How would I know? Zombiebooth is a fun novelty Android app today, but if a zombie apocalypse came, it could become vital in identifying when someone close to you has become one of the undead.
Simply use an existing photograph of their profile and the app will show you exactly what they would look like as a zombie; it even adds cool animations and interactive biting features. If they actually look like the resulting picture, you can perhaps already guess what the kindest thing to do would be.
You’re going to need food, and if you are holed up in a cave somewhere with few provisions, a cookery application could really add morale to your group of survivors. Jamie’s 20 Minute Meals is a rich source of videos, recipe tips, ingredients and instructions as to how to cook good food in under 20 minutes. If you are merely left with dirty rain water and stinging nettles this might not help, but should you have a few more culinary options available, you can at least eat well with the help of this useful app.
Be careful though, Jamie wants a whopping 80MB of your memory space so make sure you have room for it.
With all these apps prolonging your existence, your phone battery is going to take a bit of a hammering. This is where JuiceDefender Ultimate could become another must-have. The powerful app helps you accurately monitor and control your Android’s power consumption by allowing you to set and configure profiles based on aspects like your location. Perfect if you have to spend many hours scavenging for foodstuffs and are unlikely to have the opportunity to charge your phone while searching the dystopian hell-hole the world has become.
Motion Detector Pro does exactly what you would expect it to. Set your phone’s camera to overlook an area and, if it detects motion, it will raise the alarm and even take a photo of what it saw. Excellent solution if you are defending an area and want to know whether zombies are on their way.
Perhaps for some more professional insight, the U.S. Army Survival Guide provides lots of valuable information. From the interesting ‘Psychology of Survival’ to the practical ‘Water Procurement’, this ebook provides a variety of helpful instructions and guidance. Also, if you have Android 2.2 and up, you can download the whole text for offline reading!
Combined with the U.S. Army Survival Guide, this handbook can provide some rich and useful information relating directly to zombie-kind and surviving them. While procurement of some of the weapons the app discusses might be a little tricky unless you live on a military arms stockpile there is some brilliant advice here. My personal favourite was “Decapitation is the best way to drop a zombie.”
If a friend is bitten, it may be all over for them in the long term, but other injuries can be easily treatable. Simply titled ‘First Aid’ the app gives a range of treatment and diagnosis information which would certainly come in very handy. Just because someone looks a little ill, doesn’t mean they are about to zombiefy. Asprin might be better for them than the humane, yet sudden, death by pickaxe.
If you live in the UK, you’ll probably be aware of the 24-hour phone line by the NHS. The online advice is available in this useful app that can help you diagnose health issues. While the app recommends patients attend an accident and emergency department should they sustain a penetrative bite from another human (really!), it might be too late for them at that point anyway.
However, there is still a useful array of information in this app, and it’s well worth having available. There are also useful telephone links and addresses of nearby hospitals and walk-in centres. If they are still in operation, great, but even if not they could still be a good place to raid for drugs and medicine.
Thankfully, at the time of writing we do not face this kind of nightmare. However, Zombie Run! is a superb way to get practicing for this possible eventuality. The game identifies your location via GPS, then identifies the exact location of nearby virtual zombies. You then can use the app to avoid those areas at all costs.
Not only does it let you practice survival in a zombie-infested city, but you might learn all manner of short-cuts and hiding places in your neighbourhood, as well – essential knowledge for ultimate zombie survival. I should point out, it’s lots of fun too!
Should zombie infestation ever break out, it could be these very Android applications that save your life. If I were you I would create a special folder on your home screen to hold all these essential apps, just in case! Even if this never occurs the apps are incredibly practical, useful, informative and even fun. Good luck, be safe out there, and remember – always go for the brain stem.